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Honorable Hitters,

I must absent myself from the posting deck here at Porcupine Rim, and venture out to research economic success where it really happens. You are correct; I will be visiting Obama’s superior home nation of Kenya (don’t be so jealous, OK?), which is a far superior economy because it has been under healthy, centralized bureaucratic control instead of control by greedy capitalists and free markets for many years. I will learn how quickly and intensly the human spirit blossoms under centralized bureaucratic control; in stark contrast to the utterly devastating effects of free markets, liberty, and all that nonesense rot of the ridiculous United States Constitution, which Obama knows is like totally BOGUS. No wonder Kenya is such a leader in (sentence in trouble here).

Of course, I will also be visiting that paragon of centralized bureaucratic control, Obama’s ideal civilization, the immortal and brilliant, festive, and wonderful Soviet Union, where the human spirit continues to blossom; all thanks to the removal of free markets, rights and liberties. Yes; you are not mistaken; I actually have received an invitation which will permit me to CROSS THE IRON CURTAIN (which of course was designed to keep the capitalist rif-raf OUT) into that nirvana, the envy of all Obamasites, the Soviet Union. Probably, I will decide to stay in that centralized, controlled, socialist Utopia there since it is so successful. One wonders why Obama himself didn’t go there, however.

I will also be visiting Canada to grab an excellent life-saving operation quickly there, since health care here in the United States is in such a catastrophic crisis starting around January 19th.

If Obama is still president, I will resume posting in only 8 days.

With “Bungles” Obama running the country, all you can have is hope.

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